Investment Banks as US Presidents
Per the title, wanna see some riled up bankers working 90+ hours a week get riled up over Jimmy Carter being DB
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Comments (67)
Lazard is Bill Clinton because they like getting handsy with interns
Credit Suisse - JFK
Too soon smh
RIP Credit Suisse
Brutal
Credit Suisse is more like James Garfield
DB: Nixon
William Blair: Lincoln
nah lincoln international is lincoln lmao
Abe Lincoln is Centerview, clearly.
even confederates wouldn't call the man Lincoln International smh
Congrats on William Blair
FT Partners: William Henry Harrison
Tippecanoe and 140k base, btw
Lehman Brothers - Abraham Lincoln. Because like Lincoln, Lehman Brothers had a sudden and dramatic end
HSBC: Richard Nixon. Both known for scandals.
You could say that about every single bank in existence
Cantor Fitzgerald. Literally everything and everyone is legally dubious
Elaborate? The SPAC / MAGA world stuff? Sage Kelley stuff? More we don't know about stuff?
Obama would be National Bank of Kenya after his birthplace.
Joe Biden - Northwestern Mutual
Lazard - Bill Clinton
Goldman Sachs - Donald J. Trump. Best in the business, win so much they get tired of winning, all the haters hate.
u blowin bubbles on it gang
Blowin bubbles on it is crazyyy 🤣
doin tricks all over it
Ironically, both these "serial winners" lost hard recently
Spinning in a circle on it
Can we do world leaders?
Putin: UBS
Zelensky: Credit Suisse
Little too early to be making that comparison no?
Putin gives SVB ... Just still in the process of claiming to be "well-capitalized" with "peer-leading capital ratios".
above commenters have been brainwashed by western propaganda
Joe Biden - FT Partners for being a meme
Millard Fillmore - Nomura
The Industrial & Commercial Bank of China - Joe Biden
Sberbank of Russia - Donald Trump
Jefferies as Andrew Jackson - had slaves identical to the analysts under Rich
Loooooool
Jeff is not nearly cool enough to be Jackson. Pick any other slave-owning president didn't happen to be the fucking man to compare to him.
Lincoln International's namesake is Abraham Lincoln
Biden is BNY cause it's old as fuck
I would say John Adams. One of the first but no one really talks about them
Trying to think of someone for Polk. But there are no banks that have higher deal flow than everyone else that people never talk about.
I come from down in the valley, where mister when you're young, they bring you up to do like your daddy done
Big 4 corporate finance.
Andrew Jackson - Jefferies. Clawed back old bonuses just like America clawed back the native land we told them they could have.
Millard Fillmore - Credit Suisse. Presided over a bunch of problems, didn't do anything, and those problems became way worse than anyone expected.
Evercore/Laz/CVP - Calvin Coolidge. Straight chilling, known for just kind of killing it.
Hoover - Lehman Brothers. Stood down amid a crisis of epic proportions, and left behind nothing but a gigantic mess to clean up.
JPM - FDR. Led the charge on bailouts that benefited both themselves and the country.
Lyndon Johnston - PJT Partners. Entered into its position by unconventional means, but made a name for themselves nonetheless.
Richard Nixon - Wells Fargo. Engaged in illicit activities that were unnecessary in the grand scheme of things but destroyed its reputation.
Morgan Stanley - Reagan. Crown jewel in their peer group, and did a lot for rich people's wealth.
Bank of America - Bill Clinton. Had a meteoric rise despite coming from a weird ass part of the county.
Goldman Sachs - George Bush. Entered into an ill-advised war that cost a lot of money and tarnished its reputation substantially.
Citigroup - Barack Obama. Failed to implement a globalist agenda that worked better in theory than in practice.
Qatalyst - Trump. Fairly new to the scene, not everyone's friend, but has proven effective at negotiation.
.
trump was way too unsuccessful *on his own terms* to be qatalyst. he did almost nothing with republicans controlling both houses of congress, the supreme court, and most state governorships. he wasted that two year window tweeting dumb (albeit hilarious) shit
imagine how different the world would look today if you put, say, ted cruz in that position
I'm not super political tbh, I was just trying to be funny. In this case I was just referring to how the China tariffs worked out pretty well.
Trump is more like GS
Only insofar as GS recently put a non-serious guy in charge who likes to party and fluff his image more than he likes to reflect the dignity of his station. Same guy also led the charge into populism/retail banking (Marcus) only to flop and walk it back big time a couple years later.
That's not what I think you meant but it's what reality is.
Array
Cantor Fitzgerald = George Bush
Elaborate
Tobin: Hillary Clinton
Trump: Evercore
Truist = Jimmy Carter
Reagan DLJ. All the white boomers long for the days of DLJ
Jeffries - LBJ
Moelis - Andrew Jackson
Evercore - Jefferson
JPM - Roosevelt
MS - Barrack
Goldman - Washington, JFK alive, then JFK - SVB, once a darling on Monday - no mo.
Citi - Truman
Qatalyst - Trump
Allen & co - FDR
Ronald Reagan = Drexel Burnham Lambert. Crushed it in the 80s, still idolized by boomers and people who didn't live through it. Involved in some sketchy shit as well, which the fans either approve of or do not remember.
Donald Trump = DB. Ambitious, but overall didn't amount to very much. Image tarnished by several corruption scandals and other illegal activity. Lots of recent losses and now more or less leaving the business.
Richard Nixon = Credit Suisse. Solid for a long time, but destroyed itself through various unforced errors, scandals, and losses. Exited in disgrace.
Jimmy Carter = UBS. The butt of the joke/punching bag whenever they come up. Is it really deserved? Depends on who you ask, but probably.
Woodrow Wilson = Jeffries. Authoritarian, sucks overall. Very few redeeming qualities.
Both DB and Trump are coming back lol
Trump is like Cantor + Jefferies. So many things wrong yet some people love them. A loyal base of clients and employees. You could be on front page of NYPost with some crazy stories and nobody cares. And if you hang around long enough you'll make good money but also a good chance you'll just get steamrolled and discarded
Macquarie is Eisenhower for the infra focus
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